Are You Crying Out?

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© 2011 Gary Coots Photography

“This time, I’m really going to take this weight off!” I declared to myself and whoever else might have been listening. Armed with what I thought was extensive knowledge about nutrition, I planned my menus around a healthy model that stresses lean meats, veggies and fruit, and whole grains.

This regimen went just great for about 10 days. Then things began happening. I ran out of supplies and didn’t have time to go to the grocery store. I walked by the snack table at work and decided a cheese Danish was better than that piece of fruit. Somebody said “Mexican food.” We went to dinner at a friend’s house and I didn’t want to seem fussy. My husband said, “Want a burger?” I got some bad news and needed some chocolate. You name it.

Before a month was up, I had broken all the rules I had planned with such resolve. Then, Are you crying out? said the voice in my head. This question had been posed in the Gateway Equip class, “Losing Weight the Jabez Way,” and it suddenly came back to me. Rummaging through my notes, I found more choice wisdom: Whenever we determine to be strong, it moves us further from God.

That’s just what I had been doing: determining to be strong! That’s a familiar behavior for me. From the time I was a child, I believed in the adage, “You can do anything if you put your mind to it.” So what was wrong with me? I had wanted to be thin for as long as I could remember, but … I wasn’t thin. And I hadn’t been thin in a very long time.

My thoughts went back to Paul’s words in 2 Corinthians 12:9: And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

What a sweet thought that is, the power of Christ resting upon me. After all that striving, rest was exactly what I needed, and that’s what He gave me. I could rest in my weakness and let Him be strong. I could cry out to Him for help, and he would hear my plea.

When I came out on the other side of this experience, I was able to view my weight problem from a different angle. Take your everyday, ordinary life and place it before God as an offering, my notes read. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for Him. How profound and lovely is that? Now I can practice surrender each morning, following the lead of my Savior and resting in His strength. And when I feel my weakest, that’s when I cry out.

RJJ meets JR and JRJ

Rae Jean (left) and me before Pink Impact 2012

My girlfriend, Rae Jean Johnson, visits Gateway Church's North Richland Hills campus regularly with me and my husband, Gary. She's very fun and outgoing. The three of us went to Pastor Zach Neese's CD release party in mid-September. After saving our seats, Rae Jean and I headed for Grounded, the coffee bar. As we were ordering, she asked the young man at the cash register, "What's your name?"

"J.R.," he said.

"Well, I'm R.J.!" she replied.

As we waited for our drinks, an attractive redhead caught my attention. She had on a black headband, and her hair was backcombed at the crown for an edgy look that accented her pretty features. I approached her and said, "I like your hair."

"Thank you," she said. "I'm a hairdresser." We chatted about back-combing, her salon, and things in general.

Finally, right on cue, Rae Jean said, "What's your name?"

"Jeanna," said the redhead (it sounded like "Gina"). "Actually, it's Jeanna Rae."

"Oh! I'm Rae Jean," said my pal. We all had a great laugh. "Give me one of your cards, and maybe I'll come see you."

"I have one at my seat," said Jeanna. "I'll give you one when we get back inside."

In the auditorium, I looked down the row and saw Jeanna, so I went over to get a business card. Was I ever surprised when I looked at it and saw that her last name is Johnson! "God has a sense of humor," I told Rae Jean when I got back to my seat. "Rae Jean Johnson, meet Jeanna Rae Johnson."